Tal Ben Shahar often talks about this concept -That if we cannot accept failing as a natural part of the learning process, then we never genuinely learn anything new. Yet too many students – and indeed schools – frame their educational model and practices around avoiding mistakes. Failure is not an option.

 This has multiple knock-on effects for our students’ wellbeing.

1. Perfectionism – a belief that a state of completeness and flawlessness can and should be attained. Anything less than perfect is unacceptable. This is an unhealthy belief and leads to high levels of anxiety and stress, particularly in our highest academic achievers.
2. Disengagement -At the other end of the spectrum are those students who completely disengage from school because of their fear of failure. Lack of engagement has a direct impact in our students’ wellbeing.
3. Risk aversion -Those students who, play it safe. These students are happy just to cruise, doing what they’ve always done with little interest in stretching themselves, again because of the risk of failure. As a result they are never genuinely engaged with what they are doing.
4. Lack of resilience – Students who have avoided failure in school or life in general, will inevitably be faced with it at some point in their working or adult life. The question is how do you learn to be resilient in the face of failure, if you’ve never been allowed, or allowed yourself to fail?

 One top girls’ school in the UK has attempted to embrace failure by having a Failure Week. You can read about it here.

Author: Dan Haesler, he is a teacher, writer and speaker at the Mental Health & Wellbeing of Young People seminar at the Gold Coast. He writes for the Sydney Morning Herald and blogs at http://danhaesler.com/ and tweets at @danhaesler

 Mental Health & Wellbeing of Young People Seminars

Individuals who say they have family and friends they can count on to help them in times of trouble are consistently more likely to be satisfied with their personal health

via Social Support Linked to Health Satisfaction Worldwide.

Modesty is no longer a virtue in contemporary society – in the news or in real life. Despite the risks of sharing intimate details online, internet and phone technology continues to feature strongly in women’s romantic relationships, according to a survey of 18-40 year old women in the USA. Is it any wonder that our young people are emulating this behaviour?

43% of all respondents admitted to “sexting” – sending a text message containing suggestive and highly explicit sexual language.

Though 65% of those women will “sext” only while in a serious relationship, 36% of casual daters polled admit to sending a risqué message after just a few dates.

27%  of all respondents had sent nude photos via emails or text messages.

via HARLEQUIN | Harlequin’s 2012 Romance Report Findings Indicate Romance + Technology = #ITSCOMPLICATED.

Kids in Cyberspace Seminars
If you want to find out more about problematic internet use and internet addiction you can hear Susan Mclean speak on this important emerging issue at our inaugural Kids in Cyberspace

1-Reinforce the public nature of the Internet and let your adolescent know you will supervise online activity.

2-Adolescents are more likely follow the rules when you let them know you will be monitoring them.

3-Limit the amount of time spent online

4-Use filtering software

5-Monitor increased independence. Even though adolescents may appear as though they can “handle” certain situations, they actually require and unconsciously seek adult guidance and supervision

6-Explain where it is appropriate for your adolescent to have privacy: confiding in close friends face-to-face, writing in a paper journal, in his/her bedroom, etc.

7-Reinforce that there is no privacy on the Internet

8-Know their passwords, screen names, and the friends they are communicating with online

9-Monitor the use of webcams and mobile phones, as well as the posting and exchanging pictures/video online

10-Explain that once a picture is sent online they lose control of what is done with it (it may never be completely removed from the Internet)

11-Teach them that it is illegal for people to manufacture, possess or distribute naked or sexually explicit pictures of children under 18 years of age. Explain that they need to tell a trusted adult if they are presented with this situation

12-Teach them that it is illegal for adults to offer them gifts or money in exchange for sexual activity

13-Discuss dignity and self-respect and how it can be preserved or destroyed by messages sent online and offline

14-Discuss the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships

15-Explain that they should never meet in person someone they first meet online without a parent or guardian

16-Discuss online and offline high-risk behaviour and create “what if” scenarios together to help your adolescent recognize dangerous situations and practice responses

17-Encourage open communication and be aware of your adolescent’s sensitivity to social judgment. S/he may be hesitant to share personal experiences

18- Monitor and verify any job offers made, and accompany the youth to interviews

Here is a great Canadian website that features age specific tips and advice that parents or professionals can use to guide their supervision of young people online…..

Cybertip.ca – Age Specific Tips.

Kids in Cyberspace Seminars
If you want to find out more about problematic internet use and internet addiction you can hear Tena Davies speak on this important emerging issue at our inaugural Kids in Cyberspace

“Young people must have the skills to reject a sexuality that eroticises degradation and violence as it undermines their ability to have healthy and fulfilling intimate relationships”

via Teachers urged to address porn factor.

Mental Health & Wellbeing of Young People Seminars
If you want to find out more about the influence of porn on young people you can hear Melinda Tankard Reist speak on this important emerging issue at our Mental Health & Wellbeing of Young People.

via Are you addicted to Facebook?.

Kids in Cyberspace Seminars
If you want to find out more about problematic internet use and internet addiction you can hear Dr Phillip Tam speak on this important emerging issue at our inaugural Kids in Cyberspace

Very religious Americans of all major faiths have higher overall wellbeing than do their respective counterparts who are moderately religious or nonreligious. This relationship, based on an analysis of more than 676,000 interviews as part of the Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index, is statistically significant after controlling for major demographic and regional variables.

via In U.S., Very Religious Have Higher Wellbeing Across All Faiths.

Home and Away actor Jay Laga’aia has accused the show of racism saying he was dropped because the series already had a character of ethnic background.

It’s not only Play School that needs racial diversity. Shows that teenagers and grown-ups consume such as Home and Away should also more accurately represent multicultural Australia.

Then again, is the popularity of the show precisely because of its mono-racial cast? A similar debate was sparked in the UK recently when the producer of “Midsomer Murders” publicly stated that the show would fail if it introduced ethnic diversity into its casting because it wouldn’t be “english” enough…..that’s fine for those that need their escapism served up with a strong dose of racial purity but do we really want our young people to think that the aspirational ideal of Australian life in the suburbs is intended for only one particular ethnic group?

via Home and Away is ‘racist’: Actor Jay Laga’aia’s Twitter rant – Telegraph.

via Witchery New Line For Tween 8Fourteen | Corporate Paedophilia.

Andrew Fuller is a clinical psychologist and Generation Next speaker, he describes resilience as “the happy knack of being able to bungy jump through the pitfalls of life – to rise above adversity and obstacles.”

Tips for building resilience in children*
1. Make connections
Teach children how to make friends and develop empathy. Encourage them to be a friend in order to get friends. At school, watch to make sure that one child is not being isolated. Connecting with people provides social support and strengthens resilience.
2. Teach children to help others
Children who may feel helpless can be empowered by helping others. Ask for help with a task they can master. At school, brainstorm with children about ways they can help others.
3. Daily routine
Following a routine can be comforting to children, especially younger children who crave structure in their lives. Encourage children to develop their own routines.
4. Take a break
Although it is important to stick to routines, endlessly worrying can be counter-productive. Show children how to focus on something besides what’s worrying them.
5. Self-care for children
Teach child the importance of making time to eat properly, groom themselves, exercise and rest. Children need ‘down time’ to relax, so make sure that not all free time is filled with a scheduled activity.
6. Goals
Teach children to set reasonable goals and move toward them one step at a time. Moving toward that goal and receiving praise for doing so will focus children on what they have accomplished.
7. Nurture a positive self-view
Help children remember ways that they have successfully handled hardships in the past and how this can help them handle future challenges. Help children learn to trust themselves to solve problems and make appropriate decisions.
8. Be optimistic
Even when children are facing very painful events, help them look at the situation in a broader context. A positive outlook enables children to see the good things in life and keep going even in the hardest times.
9. Self-discovery
Change and tough times are often when children learn the most about themselves. Help children to see that this is a good time to find out “what they are made of.”  Change can be scary for young people, help them to see that change is part of life.
10. Make home a safe haven
In high school, taunting and bullying can intensify – home should be a haven, especially as your teen encounters more freedoms and choices and looks to home to be a constant, safe and emotionally secure place in his or her life.

The Resilience Doughnut
Developed in Australia, The Resilience Doughnut builds resilience by considering both the internal qualities of a resilient person as well as the factors in the person’s environment which support and interact with those internal qualities. It is simple and practical and can be taught in a workshop format to school students.

Mental Health & Wellbeing of Young People Seminars
If you want to find out more about resilience you can hear Andrew Fuller speak go to Mental Health & Wellbeing of Young People.

*American Psychological Association

Writer Helen Splarn. Editor Dr Ramesh Manocha.
Source: Andrew Fuller. American Psychological Association. The Resilience Doughnut.