As children grow up, they become increasingly distant from their parents and while some parents think that the dwindling time spent with their teenager is simply a sign of their child’s budding independence and evolution into adulthood, new findings suggest that private parents-child encounters during the time of adolescence are especially important for an individual’s development.
Researchers studied 200 families over seven years and found that teenagers who spent more time with their parents were more likely to have better social skills and higher self-esteem, especially if its time spent with Dad.
The study published in the journal Child Development finds that while the time teenagers spent with their parents from early to late adolescence declined overall, the time was mostly “social time”, that was shared with other relatives or friends.
However, surprisingly, results from the study revealed that one-on-one time with a parent, whether completing homework assignments, watching television or going out actually increased in “early to middle adolescence” at the age of about 15.
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Lead author Professor Susan McHale believes that the one-on-one time children spend with parents is crucial to wellbeing in adolescence.
via Spending Time With Parents Boosts Social Skills and Confidence in Teens – Medical Daily.
I suppose this makes sense. When a teenager has a problem or a situation and takes it to their friend, I imagine that there would be a lot of agreeing, whereas an parental figure would be more likely to have a more mature perspective as a result of their experiences.
It also means that they will have better skills in speaking with adults, and would prepare them for the rest of their lives with what is expected in dealing with authority figures – like job interviews and bosses or university lectures etc.
The ‘taxi-role’ I have assumed as primary caregiver of our 4 children (and in particular my 2 teenage sons) has been turned into a time of reflection, sharing, feedback, confession and dare I say it, ‘prayer’, to remind them that we are all, whatever our age, subject to highs and lows and when we share with honesty and in love, it negates the ‘arguments’ that we are bound to have with them as they ‘tousle’ for independence in the quest to mature as human persons. I feel a closeness with them that I treasure. I only feel sad that their dad is so busy with his work that he’s really ‘missing out’ on this opportunity of a lifetime…It is tough going at times (when you’re on the brink of exhaustion) but it’s the most tangible expression of my love for them at this stage of their lives…