A new term is being bandied around by the experts, technostress relates to the rise in home based technology and the fall in family interaction.
Every family seems to have an iphone, ipad, blackberry, computer, internet, laptop and video games, but the art of just spending quality family time hanging out together seems to be dying out.
Children as young as 18 months can access games on iphones. By 3 years old they are experts at operating DVD players and turning on the TV.
Dr Kidman, psychologist and author of Staying Sane in The Fast Lane, has warned that technology has a profound effect on family dynamics. Instead of bringing them together it actually drives them apart. Everyone can be in the same house or room but they are all in their own ‘techno-cocoon’ completely absorbed in the technology they are interacting with and totally oblivious of each other.
Dr Kidman said “There is no doubt it is an increasing and significant issue for a lot of families and I know that by talking to people generally when I raise the issue of technostress.”
“Humans are social creatures. There is a lot of virtual stuff going on without having any contact with people,” Dr Kidman said.
Tips on tunning into family life at home
- Set rules for the use of technology in the home.
- Unplug the technology and spend time talking to or playing games with children.
- Don’t have computers in bedrooms.
- Teach young children social and motor skills rather than how to use technology.
- Sit with children while they are using technology, get to know what they are interacting with and the sorts of social networking sites they are accessing.
- Consider only introducing mobile phones once children go to high school.
- Restrict access to technology until children 5 years old.
“I’m sure some young children are getting some of these devices too early so that needs to be thought through and, of course, they can get addicted,” Dr Kidman said. “I would rather parents err on the side of holding off on those devices.” Parents have to make decisions about how well-developed their kids are.
Child psychologist Sally-Anne McCormack said technology was changing how we spend time together as families. “Some may think because they are at the playground they are spending quality time with their children, but if they are playing a game on their phone or doing work, they are not present.”
Child psychologist Kimberley O’Brien, of Quirky Kids Clinic, said an obsession with technology was leading to family breakdown earlier. “In the past, that might have happened in early adolescence. Now, children are becoming disengaged from the age of eight or nine,” she said.
She added that “Technology keeps kids quiet, it keeps adults quiet. Parents could be searching the net while children are playing games. That’s a sad loss in family communication.”
Writer Helen Splarn. Editor Dr Ramesh Manocha.
Source: Sunday Telegraph
Parents underestimate how much bargaining power they have,so we ought to encourage them to use it! Up until the age of 12 or 13 your kids will listen , come the teen yrs it is more difficult, so parents can set the tone for how there family members interact and decide at an early age what priorities are important. technology and its increasing use in school is certainly overtaking the ability of parents to make a stand. United parenting is a possible solution in the primary school setting i.e connecting and befrending other parents, however the hardest thing is when your child heads off to high school because suddenly you are alientaed as a parent and the secret’ world of the teen starts. My philosopy is stay true to your family’s beliefs If it is not immoral, illegal or dangerous then dont sweat the small stuff.X SS
I so agree with the above and it’s important to put some boundaries in place before the technology gets out of hand and habits are entrenched in the family. My oldest son didn’t have a computer in his room until he was 18, at which time he bought a laptop with his birthday money and that was that. My next son had a laptop at 16 yrs – needed it for school and his desk is in his room – needless to say, we now rarely see much of our 2 older boys! Our 13 year old twins use the PC which we moved out to the family area a few years ago – that’s at least one strategy that has worked well, as we see what they’re doing on the computer and can still talk to them. Mobile phones are a whole other kettle of fish – we wish we had required our older boys to hand over their phones at bed time, but not sure how we’re going to implement that rule for the younger two when they get a mobile next year when going off to highschool. Then there’s the x-box, wii, dsi – the list goes on. One of the best nights we had last year, was a ‘clayton’s camping night’. We had planned to go camping one weekend but it was pouring with rain, so we stayed home. Instead, we cooked on the BBQ, lit our weber to have a fire and toast marshmallows under our pergola in the rain, turned off all electrical equipment, and sat around our ‘campfire’ talking and eating marshmallows – it was surprisingly fun and we must do it again – so easy to become complacent and let the technology entertain the family!
I totally agree with the article. Technology has crept into our family and robbed it of interaction by stealth. The children have had laptops since grade 5 because of school. Now, in upper teenage years, Facebook has been dominating their social life when at their desk, interrupting study and replacing verbal and physical communication. Then mobile phones mean they can be in the room but texting their friends, not interacting with you. The kitchen/family room used to be a common space for interaction and now this technology has crept in to bring teenage friends and planning texts into the room, diverting their attention. I have been trying to restrict mobile use when at dinner and when giving them a lift to have some opportunity to converse with my teenage children.It took a while for me to identify what the problem was with this behaviour. There were no rules or etiquette to follow so have had to make up my own. It has helped a little but the distraction is still too strong. Bring back the telephone and the friends dropping by!