Here are the top five things you need stop saying to yourself and to others, if you want a better career and life:

“This is not so bad – I can tolerate it.”

So many people I’ve worked with seem to want to remain blind to how their daily work-lives are hurting them. They think that staying in sick, toxic and demoralizing environments and toughing it out will be the best choice. Sadly, it never is. They say to themselves that it’s ok and right to remain in pain, not doing anything to rise up and stand up for their lives. The question is, “Why do you think ‘tolerating’ your career is what you should be going for? What has happened in your past that has led you to think it’s OK to settle for and compromise on so much?”

“I’m too old to change this.”

In working with thousands of mid-life professionals, I’ve heard first-hand what they regret most. One of their top regrets is this: “I wish I hadn’t let my fears stop me from making change.” A key fear is that they’re too old to create a happier career now, and that joyful, rewarding careers are somehow only possible if we start them in our 20’s. That idea is categorically false. I’ve worked with so many people around the world who’ve mustered the courage to pivot, revise or discard what isn’t working and build entirely new professional identities. And most were well out of their 20’s and 30’s when doing it.

“I’m just not good enough. Otherwise I wouldn’t have been fired (or laid off).”

This one particular self-message is so very damaging to your well-being and confidence. Thousands of people are being fired and laid off every year, and the majority are not “losers,” incompetents, or unable to do their work well. There are a myriad of reasons why people are let go, and a good number of them have much more to do with the culture and environment than with you. You can’t let what happens to you drown you in self-rejection. Nor can you take it all personally. Sometimes it’s a situation where you are a wrong fit for this culture, and being let go is the best thing that could ever happen to you. Whatever the situation, pick yourself up by the bootstraps, and get moving towards landing a happier role and professional identity.

– Kathy Caprino

Read more: 5 Things To Stop Saying Today If You Want More Success And Happiness

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