A significant intervention at a critical time in the conversation and about girls, sexualisation and sexuality

Girlfriend August 2012

Melinda Tankard Reist

Ok, firstly, a disclosure. I’m going to open with some praise for a Girlfriend which, naturally, you the reader could be tempted to think is just because I’m quoted in it and the organisation I’m part of gets a guernsey. While it does feel somewhat novel to see one’s words in a magazine that I’m not known for raving about, the article in which they appear comes at a critical time in the current conversation and about girls, sexualisation and sexuality.

‘Let’s talk about sexy’ by London based blogger Rachel Hills, (‘Musing of an inappropriate woman’ http://rachelhills.tumblr.com/ ) explores the contradictory messages girls get about their bodies and sexuality, the way young women are taught to satisfy others while at the same time being alienated from their own bodies. I see this a lot in my work, girls feeling they have to be performers, sexual service stations for men and boys, while being completely cut off from their own desires, not expecting pleasure or intimacy in return. This is what I said in response to Hill’s questions:

Many of the girls I meet feel pressured to act in highly sexual ways. Many are engaging in sexual practices they don’t actually like or enjoy, but think they are meant to. Objecting to the sexualisation of girls is not the same as objecting to sexuality. The shame is not the sexuality of young women, but with a culture that teaches them that is their only value.

I’m really pleased Hills chose to include mention of Collective Shout for a world free of sexploitation, (www.collectiveshout.org) which some other activists and I launched a couple of years ago. The response from young women to this new grassroots movement is one of the things that keeps me going.

One of the pleasures of my work is to see young women rise up in resistance against limiting and stereotyped cultural messages.  I really do believe it is the younger women who will turn this around.

In other positives:

  • Readers are informed through the ‘Self respect reality check’  re Emma Stone cover: ‘This image was supplied to us already retouched’. I thought that may have been the case with a couple of previous covers, though no mention of it, so good to see the disclosure upfront here.

 

  • A helpful article on how to avoid procrastination and not get distracted when you are trying to study. ‘…procrastination is a problem we’d like to control, coz even though it doesn’t guarantee a sucky mark, it can defs cramp our potential come cram o’clock’. (Let’s hope readers don’t take spelling tips from their fave bestie mag).  Dr Piers Steel, author of The Procrastination Equation, offers practical advice which includes asking ‘rents (parents) to change social network passwords during exams, not studying with phone nearby, setting simple goals, have a study routine.

 

 

  •  “The Business of Beauty: why there’s no such thing as ‘natural beauty’” has a helpful conclusion: “It takes a lot of courage and practise to genuinely believe that we are more than our looks, but if we don’t work on changing our own beliefs, nothing else will change. We will go through life striving for the impossible goal of physical perfection and will forever feel like we’re failing”. (This is good advice of course, but magazines need to acknowledge their contribution to making this so difficult. See ‘Teen magazine blows its cover in search of impossible perfection’  http://melindatankardreist.com/2012/07/teen-magazine-blows-its-cover-in-search-of-impossible-perfection/)

 

 

  • ‘Life as told by you’. These first-person narratives include ‘Depression tore my family apart’ about 14-year-old Jess whose father took his life after a struggle with a mental illness, Courtney’s involvement in a Youth Ambassador program with World Vision which took her to Ethiopia, a 12-year-old with her own music video, a 15-year-old who took part in a music festival in the US and a young woman forced out of school because of bullying.

 

  • Features on understanding autism, losing a loved one to cancer, ‘3 things you think will make you happier (…that really won’t’) and ‘Money, fame and winning’:   “Material things are ultimately empty pleasures and don’t make for sustained contentment.”   Great advice but a little out of sync with what appears under the ‘BUYING’ header near the start of the mag (see below).

 

  • ‘11 steps to being more confident’, Number 11: “Stop comparing yourself to others. Focussing on your positive qualities rather than comparing yourself to others is a great way to improve feelings of self-confidence.”

 

 

  • An article which may help girls expand their horizons, for example ‘Find the fire’: “Think about the moments in life that made you feel alive – they could be related to travel, creativity or teaching people – and find a career that branches off that.” More career advice follows in ‘The future looks blank…and that’s totally fine’, ‘Career myths busted’, how to deal with fears of failing Yr 12 and how to deal with exam stress.

Less happily:

  • Included in GF’s ‘Stuff we love’ is ‘BUYING” (as number one) with this profound advice for girls: “Coz why have money if you can’t spend it?” (which may have some bearing on the fact that the first 30 of 40 pages of this month’s issue comprise advertising and fashion).  This endorsement of mindless spending doesn’t gel with the “mindless pleasure” philosophy later in the magazine.

 

  •  ‘The top 5 jobs we know you want’: fashion designer, interior designer, magazine editor, beautician, actor. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with these jobs…but the list did seem somewhat limited. Apparently these were the jobs readers said they wanted. I wonder how many and what the original list of choices was? Was this derived from a formal survey or random approaches to girls on the street? Are those who read the magazine already more likely to be interested in fashion, beauty and fame etc  -as these are so closely aligned to the values of teen mags in genera l – or whether GF has contributed to its readers seeing these as more desirable roles?

The sealed section features information on ‘Which contraception is right for you’? Brief coverage of implants, pills, injections, vaginal rings and IUDs – not enough information here for informed decision making, especially relating to risks (for example no mention of class actions suits against the makers of the implant Norplant following significant injury. Also, ‘contraceptive injection’ doesn’t mention Depo Provera, the highly controversial injection subjected to criticism from global women’s groups.)

However there is positive advice about resisting pressure to have sex which is so necessary in a sex-saturated culture which tells girls that’s exactly what they should be doing, even if they aren’t really ready or would prefer to wait for (radical notion) someone who actually cares for them.

Melinda Tankard Reist