“I hope she doesn’t get bullied,” I confided to my husband on our daughter’s first day of school.

“I hope she doesn’t bully,” my husband replied.

The thought that my darling angel could bully another child had never once entered my head. And when I did think about it I dismissed it immediately.

I suspect I’m not alone because two years later, and after countless conversations with parents, I’ve heard many stories about children being bullied. But I’m struggling to think of even one time a parent told me that their child had bullied.

And I understand why; the idea that your child is a bully can be just too awful to contemplate. It’s also unlikely that your kid is going to come home and tell you if they were.

Sophie* was shocked when a teacher took her aside two weeks into her son’s first year at school to report that he’d punched a girl in the nose.

“The teacher brought my son over to us and spoke to him as well. She said that the children were standing in line and that his punch was completely unprovoked and the teacher would have a conversation with the girl’s mother as well,” Sophie said.

“I felt angry, humiliated, frustrated and helpless. I was pretty sure that the teacher knew we did not promote such behaviour at home, but I still wanted to justify my son and myself (which I didn’t),” she said.

– Kasey Edwards

Read more: What if your child is the bully?

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