We are living in a time of evolving sensitivity to communities who have been dis-empowered. For instance, you don’t have to know someone with a disability to understand the burdens placed on people who look, or act differently, or need accommodations just to reach a level playing field.
It is the sign of a vibrant society to acknowledge those who lie outside the mainstream may require change from that very mainstream.
An Invisible Community
There is an invisible community that deserves our attention. It’s a community that can’t fight for their rights; a community that suffers from the actions of others, and yet must adjust, sometimes radically, both for the good and for the bad.
I am talking about the children of divorce.
You might ask how this can be possible. After all, some of these kids come from privileged homes, while others have parents who care. Some even have attorneys assigned to them. Yet, what I have discovered after countless therapy cases and offering courses in divorce, is that most of the children of divorce did not ask for this.
Yet, these small people are asked to make changes that are hard, sudden and unnerving. Plus the parents they always counted on are often preoccupied, angry, betrayed or sullen, and have little constructive energy to give. They are often dis-empowered by the loss of support during a divorce.
Divorce Has Value
Let’s be clear – I am not taking the social warrior role against divorce. No. Divorce is a necessary part of our world. We live a short life here on this planet, and every man and woman should have the opportunity to find the peace and reward of being loved. There is nothing so awful as coming home to a place where you are not loved. It is the spiritual equivalent to chalk squeaking on the blackboard. Intolerable.
So, yes, couples should divorce if there is abuse, or pain that cannot be healed. And, it can be constructive for children to see their parents opting for happiness, a model to children that life is precious and we are not to be trapped.
– Mark Banschick