The self-quieting approach has long been presented as a powerful alternative to punishment and time-out. It is an approach that encourages kids to look within to find their own solutions to their problems.

Self-quieting has also been referred to as time-in or positive time-out. The approach is based on the argument that kids learn more from positive interactions than they do from negative ones. In other words, the approach suggests that when we isolate kids or use harsh punitive approaches, the behavior we’re attempting to modify is unlikely to change.

Self-quieting works by helping kids stop and quiet down. It has been associated with reduced stress and anxiety and has also been reported to help reduce misbehavior.

How to adopt a self-quieting approach

1 Help your child create a self-quieting space

A self-quieting space is a space where your child can go to if he needs to unwind. It’s a space that can help him calm down. Self-quieting spaces are comfortable spaces – with pillows, books, puzzles, drawings – in which he can distract himself and calm down enough to reflect on what was initially bothering him.

Your child decides how long he’ll stay in the self-quieting space. In other words, there’s no set time. Once he feels calm, he can leave his space.

– Sanya Pelini

Read More: The Time-Out Alternative That May Be More Effective

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