20% of children are bullied at school
20% of teens do things online they later regret

Clinical Psychologist and Generation Next speaker, Andrew Fuller says school yard arguments have become more intense and that cyber bullying has become more vindictive during the last few years.

“There has been a change in bullying from mild schoolyard disputes to cyber bullying that has caused some teens to take their lives or try to take their lives,” he says. “It is a very serious issue and fortunately most schools take it very seriously.”

“Bullying is most common in grades 3 and 4 when children are about 10,” says Fuller who works with many schools around Australia.

 “This is when the demands of the curriculum go up a notch and the social awareness of each other increases. Plus, as their bodies change at different rates, differences and similarities become more obvious.”

Psychologist Evelyn Field advices “Children need to look the bully in the eye, stand straight and maintain a neutral look,” she says. “Bullies can smell fear and that can make children more vulnerable and more likely to be a target.”

Fuller agrees, adding “Bullies smell fear so practicing responses to bullies can give your child confidence to deal with the problem, even if they don’t use the responses.”

Andrew Fuller’s suggested Rules of Netiquette.
1. What goes on the net stays on the net.
Virtual words have real life consequences. If you wouldn’t do it IRL (in real life) don’t do it online. Use the nana rule: if you wouldn’t want your nana to know about it, don’t put it on the web. Your future employers, friends and partners can and probably will, trace your cyber –trail.

2. Don’t threaten to ban access to the internet if bullying occurs.
The main reason young people do not tell their parents when they are cyber bullied is because they fear they will lose access to the computer. Parents should let their children know that they will help them to cope with upsetting events online but won’t insist they stop using the computer.

3. Take a Silent stand against Cyber Bulling.
Silence – do not respond to abusive messages. The number one rule for dealing with cyber bullying is: don’t respond, don’t interact and don’t engage.

4. Real life friends.
Encourage your child to have a diverse range of friends that visit your home, including friends out of school.

Susan McLean, Cyber safety expert and Generation Next speaker feels that when bullying occurs online, regardless of where it actually takes palace, and the fallout is obvious to school staff, it then becomes a school issue.

Many secondary schools have to deal with the issue of explicit student pictures circulating throughout the school community. Schools must embrace technology for the wonderful tool that it is, not dwell on the problem that it might become.

She advises that schools should be proactive in all areas, educating the whole community, students parents and staff and make sure that their policy documents are relevant, circulated to all members of the school community and are regularly updated.

Fuller says cyber bullying is a huge problem, especially for high school girls and points out that Facebook should be used only by teens over 13.

“We know that 20% of teens do things online they later regret,” he says.

“Boys can engage in cyber bullying but it lacks the direct, merciless attack that can come when girls bully online.”

“We have to contend with the internet in real life so it’s important to help children contend with the issue of dealing with some dignity online,” Fuller says.

“The key to success is to agree on a plan for when and how long children use the internet as well as what they put on there.”

For more information visit
www.bullyingnoway.com.au or CyberSafetySolutions.

Writer Helen Splarn. Editor Dr Ramesh Manocha.
Source: Sydney Morning Herald. CyberSafetysolutions. Andrew Fuller