Screen shot 2013-07-16 at 2.46.25 PMGirl Mag Watch Girlfriend July 2013

Melinda Tankard Reist

In my talks in schools around the country, I am told distressing stories of alcohol-related harm. Violence, sexual assault, damage to physical and mental health. My friend and colleague Paul Dillon, a drug educator with 25 years experience and founder of  Drug and Alcohol Research and Training Australia (DARTA) hears these stories too. He’s written about this recently Here.

We are concerned about the damage being done in an alcohol saturated culture and by an industry which deliberately targets young people by designing, packaging and marketing alcohol in ways attractive to them (see my Sunday Herald Sun piece on this Here. So it is timely and a positive intervention when a magazine like Girlfriend decides it has to educate its readers on the issue.

‘Drinking this weekend? Read this first’ is a direct piece about the harms of alcohol, especially binge drinking. Describing alcohol as ‘liquid poison’ GF exposes the risks of drinking: brain damage, breast cancer, liver damage, stomach inflammation, pancreatitis, heart disease, nerve damage, weakened bones, damaged skin and death (alcohol causes 13 percent of teen deaths in Australia).  Nicola Newton from the National Drug and Alcohol Research Centre warms that binge drinking increases risk of injury and accidents and makes you do things you’ll regret.

“Alcohol impairs your judgement, so you’re more likely to engage in violent behaviour, drink-driving, self-harm and unsafe sex. Car accidents are the leading cause of death for Australian teens, and getting behind the wheel with someone who’s been drinking (or driving yourself) increases the risk of crashing”. Unsafe sex can lead to STI’s and unintended pregnancy. And you may sleep with someone you realise later you really didn’t like that much. Nadine drank too much and lost her virginity to a stranger when she was 15. “[Before that night] I wasn’t considering having sex outside a relationship –especially not my first time. I’d never had a boyfriend, or even a kiss, so it was a huge leap. The worst part was I didn’t remember it the next day…I couldn’t believe I’d skipped over this milestone without realising. I was upset for months…”, she says. Girls are given practical advice on resisting pressure and, if they decide to drink, to limit intake and look after themselves and friends.

Related is a helpful piece on partying, ‘Project X: When parties get out of control’. The article gives girls tips for a safe party: notify local police ahead of time, how to deal with gatecrashers (only directly invite those you want to come, let it be seen as a small gathering, never post about the event online, call police if necessary), supply lots of food and non-alcoholic drinks. There’s a check list of signs of alcohol poisoning. Girls are advised to call for help if they fear someone has alcohol poisoning or has overdosed. “Don’t let the fear of getting in trouble stop you.” Solid, sensible advice.

A ‘Formal Survival Guide’ covers format fashion, etiquette, what to do if you want to take a same-sex partner to the event. I’ve become more concerned about formals and the pressure they put on girls. Some schools have told me they have re-arranged the school year to have the formal on first and get it out of the way, because it took up so much of their student’s time and attention that they stopped focussing on their studies. Another concern is cost and related stress to girls and their parents. In ‘Cost of a formal’ it is good to see three of the four young women featured stick to a reasonable budget (between $100 and $300). However one, Tara, 19, spent $1370 on her Year 12 formal, $950 for the dress alone. At least she is in the minority. ‘The $100 challenge’ also hopefully helps girls see they don’t need an extreme spend to qualify. ‘Not just a one hit wonder’ encourages girls to find other uses for their dress post formal.

From formal to feminist in ‘This is what a feminist looks like’, featuring author Steph, 19 and artist and activist Lily, 17. They are the youngest contributors to the new book Destroying the Joint: Why Women Have to Change the World. 

Steph, 19, says “I think there’s this idea that feminist have to look and behave a certain way. But there’s a lot of diversity within feminism and many people may not like the label and the associations, but if they really look at their own beliefs they’re probably feminist. Don’t let people dissuade you from fighting for women’s rights…Don’t compromise your own values and beliefs”.

Lily identifies some of the reasons girls are reluctant to identify as feminist: “I know it’s easy to look at our situation in Australia and think we have it pretty good, but sexism is still evident in the way teenage girls are insecure and encouraged to conform to impossible ideas…We’re taught not only to have ourselves, but to hate each other, which is very damaging. As girls, we’re often taught to seek male attention, so it’s really easy to shy away from feminism because it makes you feel like you’re not going to have any friends and that guys will be threatened by it. The truth is that feminism isn’t actually about hating men – it’s about creating a world where people in general feel more free to be who they are, no matter their gender”.

Another welcome article is ‘Dealing with Doubt: How to handle that little voice in your head’ which aims to help girls live the lives they really want by dealing with doubt. Some doubt is of course expected, but multiple times a day requires assistance. Also known as ‘menacing beliefs,’ self-doubt can “limit us from being our best selves” says life coach Shannon Bush. Girls are given advice on how to build their confidence by spending more time with people who boost confidence, noticing their influences, for example dealing with self-criticism of others), starting a gratitude journal and seeking help if needed from a mentor or counsellor.  Related articles are ‘Learn from mistakes we all make’ and ‘Project You: What makes you happy’ to help girls discover the triggers that enable them to relax and enjoy life.

It’s pleasing to see girl’s magazines dealing with parental relationships – building bonds with parents rather than setting them adrift in a sea of individualism. ‘The parent trap’ helps girls deal with ‘over protective’ parents by gaining their trust – showing their daughter is trustworthy. “Do your chores, take pride in your schoolwork and keep your promises. Prove that you can be responsible, and the freedom will follow,” advises GF. Girls are also encouraged to let their parents know they appreciate their concern and care. Provide details about where you are going, and keep them in the loop while there. “You’re more likely to get what you want from your parents if you communicate with them. If you put up a wall of silence, they’ll only get suspicious”, advises life coach Robyn Brass.

Also welcomed is an important piece on understanding polycystic ovary syndrome, what it is, its frequency, causes and treatment. While the exact cause is unknown, it is commonly thought to be related to a hormone imbalance, and also linked to insulin and genetics.  About 21 percent of Australian women and teens are affected. Signs include infrequent or absent periods, hair growth on face, chest and abdomen, hair loss, acne and oil skin, thick patches of skin that are dark brown or black, pelvic pain, weight gain, fertility problems, sleep apnoea and anxiety and depression. Given many girls can have the condition without knowing it, this is an important piece. Girls are directed to managingpcos.org.au and posaa.asn.au.

‘Life: as told by you’ is a space where girls share their first hand life experiences. In my opinion this section helps ground the magazine. Haley shares her account of why she relinquished her baby for adoption, a decision she made at 15. She said she was “drawn to adoption”, wanting to turn her unplanned pregnancy into “something positive by helping someone else.” She says her boyfriend wanted her to have an abortion “but I never wavered from my choice”. She suffered ostracism for being young and pregnant – “a lot of girls called me a slut”-  and she was forced to home school. She chose the family she wanted her baby to go to. Heyley’s account of her last moments alone with her baby are deeply affecting. “I never knew you could love someone so much…I wanted to remember every single thing about her.” Haley receives regular updates from the adoptive parents. She says she still has “hard days, but has never regretted her decision. While adoption should never be seen as an easy alternative, and the emotional wrench must be acknowledged, this is a rare and brave account.